Yikes! Somebody found a dead five-to-six hundred pound manta ray, with a wingspan of 11 feet, on a beach in Salem, MA. Apparently it took six guys to haul the thing onto a dock so scientists could poke at it. The picture in the Local 6 News article is sort of disappointing, so here is a better one (link):

Damn, that thing is big! There are some more pictures here. 

Via Local 6 News

Alexis: that toad is big

Via National Geographic

By the way, THE HOST is one of the awesomest monster movies ever. I’m watching it for the third time now (I got a copy in Chinatown for ten bucks, and a legal copy too - it’s been out in Korea for a while) and it’s still pretty great. We’re about to come to the part where the monster barfs up human remains, so I may not be eating any more cookies tonight, but seriously, giant man-eating fish-monsters get the thumbs-up. Plot schmot I say. Eat more military guys in yellow suits.

Also the Apple movie trailer plot description is pretty stellar:

Gang-du (SONG Kang-ho) works at a food-stand on the banks of the Han River. Dozing on the job, he is awakened by his daughter, Hyun-seo ( KO A-sung), who is angry with him for missing a teacher-parent meeting at school. As Gang-du walks out to the riverbank with a delivery, he notices that a large crowd of people have gathered, taking pictures and talking about something hanging from the Han River Bridge. The otherwise idyllic landscape turns suddenly to bedlam, when a terrifying creature climbs up onto the riverbank and begins to crush and eat people.

That just about sums it up!

GWOEMUL/THE HOST (IMDB)

What is the most disgusting smell in the world? A steaming sack of McDonald’s in a Subway train.

I don’t need to explain it, but I will: Everybody in New York takes the subway. We ride it together every day. It’s a cooperative activity. We all have to wait on a freezing cold or boiling hot platform, we all have to dash for the train sometimes, we all get embarassed when we have to tug our sleeve or bag out of the vise-grip of the doors. It’s something we, as citizens, endure, because taking the train is the only option for pretty much everyone who isn’t lucky enough to be able to walk to work or school.

And then in comes the guy with his lunch. For some reason, those who dine á la MTA pack only the gnarliest, most pungent meals. It’s always pastrami or something. Let’s be straight: fast food is delicious, we all eat it every once in a while, but DAMN if it does not smell AWFUL, especially in an enclosed space (that usually stinks to begin with). Being surrounded by a whole bunch of people just getting off of work just maagnifies the discomfort. Having to suffer a bag of Wendy’s for eight local stops is enough to make me lose it.

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A while ago Slashfood reported on another delicious American-Idol-themed gastronomic abomination:

There’s something about “Soulful Sundae Cone” that just sounds obscene to me. Then again, the whole business of reality-television snack food is pretty obscene to begin with, eh? I want to try this stuff for sure - I only hope I can live with myself afterwards. My fat, fat self.

American Idol Ice Creams - Slashfood

So some guys in a boat caught a COLOSSAL SQUID (Mesonychoteuthis hamiltoni) off Antarctica, while it was eating a Patagonian toothfish (which also exists, I guess). Apparently the Colossal Squid is a lot like the Giant Squid, but (according to Wikipedia, always known for accuracy), besides being colassaler,

[u]nlike the giant squid, whose tentacles are equipped with suckers lined with small teeth, the suckers at the tips of the Colossal Squid’s tentacles have sharp swiveling hooks. Its body is wider and stouter, and therefore heavier, than that of the giant squid. Colossal Squids are believed to have a longer mantle than giant squids, although their tentacles are shorter.

Holy CRAP. SHARP SWIVELLING HOOKS? This just replaced the vinegaroon in my nightmares.

Via National Geographic, BBC

Here’s a picture of a Patagonian Toothfish. Delicious.

SO on Valentines Day, Alexis went to Jack’s 99 cent store on 32nd Street and bought me the greatest Valentines present I could ever have hoped for:

Yes, a “Tour Celebration Pack” of American Idol Pop-Tarts.

Now these bad boys have gotten some press, but there wasn’t much about how they taste. I mean, stars on the outside? Striped interior frosting-mush? “Wild Strawberry” must have something to do with Paula Abdul’s drug habits, and we’re going to find out what.

Even more urgent, though, is the question: What do American Idol Pop-Tarts MEAN? WHY do they exist? WHAT is God’s name are they made of? And WHO would eat such a thing?

Some basketball player on a box of Wheaties is one thing, or Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle gummy bears, sure, but American Idol? Are these ‘Tarts going to taste like Clay Aiken or something? Will we be critiqued on our eating style by cruel British homosexuals? The packaging is not all that revealing, although the website encourages us, the American Public, to dutifully “Snack like an Idol!” with these Patriotic Pop-Tarts, as, I imagine, Reuben Studdard does before his set at Mohegan Sun.

After the jump, a full report…

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